Just Like Jericho
by ilikecrystals
Summary: Follow up to "Wishes and Near Misses", All of Sam's walls come tumbling down and he has nowhere to hide. Wincest. Death of Ruby inside :D This is the end of this series. Hope you enjoyed!
1. Chapter 1

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**Title:**..........Just Like Jericho**  
****Author:.......**ilikecrystals  
**Pairings:**.....Dean/Sam  
**Scenario:**....Wincest/Angst  
**Summary:** ..Follow up to "Wishes and Near Misses", Sam's walls fall down and he's left with nowhere to hide. Additional Character: Ruby

**Author's Notes/Warnings: **This story contains **WINCEST** erotica. If you don't like this topic, please don't read. Song lyrics below by Joni Mitchell.

Blame my fellow author Dianna Wickham for this one, readers! She gave me a plot bunny that refused to leave me alone so here you have Chapter 1.

*

_Just like Jericho  
Let these walls come tumbling down  
Let them fall right on the ground  
Let all these dogs go running free  
The wild and the gentle dogs  
Kenneled in me._

*

*

*

Sam has Dean right where he wants him.

This is how he likes his brother, gasping and wriggling underneath the lapping of Sam's tongue, straining his body up so Sam can have better access, fists gripping and twisting at the air from the sheer pleasure surging through him.

Sam licks across one nipple slowly as he moves his body over Dean's, bumping and grinding his crotch down into his brother's, the naked swollen dicks between them straining and pushing against each other. He scores a trail of wet across to the other nipple, circling around the hardening nub before he kisses his way back up to Dean's mouth and roughly takes his lips, pushing them apart to swirl his tongue against Dean's, matching the slide of his tongue to the rhythm of his hips below.

Dean tries to pull his arms down from where Sam has them captured on the bed above him but Sam tightens his grip around Dean's wrists, breaking the kiss to give his brother an admonishing look, shaking his head, lips back on Dean's so the pressure waxes and wanes, turning the kiss into something new, something more.

Dean tries to pull Sam back in, wanting his tongue, wanting his taste but Sam keeps it light, feathering across Dean's lips, only dipping in to taste quickly, tantalizing and teasing until Dean growls up at him.

"Sam, come _on, _please!"

Sam chuckles against his mouth, the warm vibrations of lips on lips giving them both shivers and Sam does as Dean asks, swooping in to push him open, tongue thrusting in to lick and slide against Dean's and the flickers of passion in Sam's belly surge up, flaming out into his legs and gut as he bucks his hips into his brother's.

He loves the next part the best, where he works his way down Dean's body to take that sweet dick in his mouth.

*

*

Jesus, the things that kid can do with his tongue! There ought be a law against how good Sam can make him feel, how he brings him here, to this place, where he's a quivering lump that bears no resemblance to the stalwart soldier of ten minutes ago.

Sam's kisses are usually so soft and gentle that when he turns up the heat, forcing Dean, owning him, Dean can hardly stand it, thrilled with the roughness, the frantic tongue that pulls him in and lays open his heart, searching for his essence, finding the flame inside and cranking open the flue so it burns bright and hot.

It leaves Dean helpless and gasping, sure that Sam's kissed his very soul right out of him and all Dean wants is more, more of those lips and that tongue, more of the hunger because he knows all Sam's shown him is the tip of the iceberg.

Dean knows there's so much more passion burning inside of Sam but something makes Sam hold it back, only letting himself go so far, showing just so much and no more. Sam hides it well, letting it out in dribbles, not like Dean who opens up the floodgates and lets it all go.

Dean wants just one of these days for Sam to just open it up, let his walls fall down and show him all that fire, all that raw hunger that's inside, let it loose to run wild and free. Then, when Sam's there, feral and snarling, that's when Dean wants Sam to take him, down and dirty, and fuck him until he loses his mind. Damn, Dean can't wait for that day.

_Christ_, Sam's moving down now, sliding over his body with that maddening tongue, leaving a cool wet trail in his path that tickles and picks at Dean's skin, making him shiver with anticipation as Sam moves closer, closer to his cock and he strains up against Sam's body where it rubs against him. Sam's finally let his hands go so now Dean can tangle his fingers in that beautifully dark hair, guiding that hot mouth down lower and Sam lets him, bless his luscious little heart.

Sam's rubbing his nose against Dean's dick, tickling the tip with his bangs, and Dean groans, urging Sam down, "Use your tongue, Sammy…"

He feels it, hot and wet, sliding up from the base, lapping up the length of him and _oh_, _shit_, does that feel good! Sam licks around the top, circling slowly, tickling every taste out of him and Dean sighs and rocks up into that wonderful world, closing his eyes and just feeling that sensuous tongue pulling on every nerve, every fiber of him, taking him closer and closer to the sky.

Sam's mouth covers him, warm and wet, wrapping him in liquid fire, tongue moving faster as Dean grips Sam's hair, hanging on tight, bucking his hips up to meet those soft, sweet lips that open wide and take him in. He feels the white-hot flicks of pleasure shooting up into his gut, balls tightening as Sam increases the rhythm, making low moans in his throat like he's never tasted anything so good.

Dean feels his thighs trembling and tries to still them but he's gone beyond control, Sam has the reins, it's all Sam's tongue and mouth and hands that roam over him, flicking over his nipples and tickling down his body so that he twitches at every pull, every suck until he's gone and it's only his cock now, that sweet rush of fire that billows out of him. He's riding the waves, going higher with each break, each crest, gasping and grunting, almost there, almost-

It bursts out, rushes through and down and rocks over him, hips jerking up into Sam's mouth, his body rigid and then releasing, his grip on Sam's hair locked and Sam is sucking him down, drinking deep, holding onto his hips as he empties himself into that warm sweet cavern.

"Mmm" Sam hums against him as Dean lay gasping for breath, muscles trembling with release as Dean falls back against the mattress. Before he can take in a deep breath, before he can recover, his legs are pushed up and Sam's spreading his ass wide, pulling him open and that wonderful, freaking, poking tongue is swirling around him and into him, shooting sweet sparks of pleasure up his legs and into his belly.

Dean hears himself rasping out a low moan and tries to tell Sam how good, how delicious his tongue feels, how it's making his insides all hot and wanting, needing Sam to be inside him, to fill him up, but all he can manage is a whispered, "_Jesus_, Sammy…"

Sam's fingers come next, long and gentle, that go up and up, spreading lube and pleasure at the same time, opening him, readying Dean for the delights still to come.

He opens his eyes as Sam moves up, staring deep into his brother's gaze and feels the tip of Sam's dick nudging into him. He starts to breathe deeply, trying to consciously relax his internal muscles to let Sam get in easier, knowing the pain is coming but he'll get past that soon enough and then, God, it'll be _so good _and feel so_ nice. _

Sam pushes in, slow, steady, stopping when Dean's muscles clamp down but not pulling out, just waiting until Dean gets control and releases him. Grunt by grunt, inch by inch, he's filled with Sam, that big long dick that just feels so perfect, so right inside and once he's in, Sam's mouth is back on his, sliding his tongue against Dean's, kissing him passionately, deeply and Dean gives it right back, hands gripping the back of Sam's neck, holding him in place.

He feels Sam sliding out and moans at the loss only to have his breath ripped away as Sam shoves back in fast and they don't break the kiss but instead gasp and huff into each other's mouths as Sam falls into a nice steady rhythm and Dean holds on tight, letting Sam ride him as hard as he wants.

Faster now, deeper, Sam is pulling Dean's hips down just as he thrusts up, and he goes in him so frigging far that Dean can't catch his breath and Sam's going harder now, spearing into him sharp and fierce and he's gonna come soon, Dean can feel it throbbing, ready-

Sam grunts into him, "God, Dean, holy _shit_-"

And jerks his hips into him again, thrusting deep, before his back stiffens, rigid, breath rushing out in a huff as he shoots his load into Dean, stroking in and out to get the last and Dean pulls him close, feeling the trembles rack through Sam's body as he gasps into Dean's neck.

Sam pulls out and the loss of him inside makes Dean sigh with regret. He feels Sam crawl up next to him and throw an arm and leg over him to cuddle. He rubs Sam's arm gently and gives a sigh of contentment.

There are a lot worse ways to spend a Sunday afternoon than loving on his brother.

"You sound happy." Sam mutters in his ear, still trying to catch his breath.

"Pretty damn happy, yup." Dean has a shit-eating grin on his face that he can't seem to wipe off.

"Me, too." Sam nuzzles in closer and his sigh is even bigger, more content than Dean's was.

"Sure am glad we got rid of that hitchhiking demon so quick. We didn't have to wait so long to get to do this."

Sam lifts his head and stares at Dean, his eyes sparking with anger, "It still pisses me off that I couldn't take out a freaking demon anymore and we ended up having to use the knife. I should be stronger than that. How am I supposed to protect you, protect us if I can't even take out one demon anymore? How the hell am I supposed to kill Lillith?"

"Sammy, I like that your powers are getting weaker. I'm sorry but I do. They scare me and you scare me when you're using them. We have the knife and that's been good enough all this time. We'll find a way to kill Lillith and stop the apocalypse, just the way we always have, with skill and smarts. We don't need that psychic shit, dude. Don't look back, man."

"Dean-" Sam shakes his head, "You don't understand."

Dean scowls, "Well, enlighten me."

"I need it, Dean. I need that feeling, that rush that I get when I'm sending a demon back to hell. It gives me--_shit_, I don't know how to describe it. It fills me up and the more I get, the more I need. It's like –"

"Sounds to me like you're addicted to it, Sam. How is that a good thing?"

Sam sighs heavy, "Like I said, you don't understand…"

He leans down to grab the blanket and covers them up, tucking it around them and curling up again next to Dean.

"Sam-"

"I don't want to talk anymore, Dean, please. Let's just sleep."

Dean knows better. He knows his brother and this isn't finished, not by a long shot but he can't figure out what Sam's going to do about it. It's not like he can get any more power once this is gone and for that Dean's extremely grateful. He'll be glad to leave this psychic demon killing shit behind them.

*

*

Dean jerks awake, instantly alert, not knowing what woke him but something is off, something is wrong and he hears furtive mumbling coming from the bathroom, the door ajar to let out a small sliver of light. He rolls over and looks at the empty bed next to him, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

The muttering in the bathroom stops and the light shuts off. Dean lays back down and closes his eyes, hearing Sam come near the bed, feeling his brother's eyes on him. He evens out his breathing, hoping Sam will think he's still asleep and sure enough, Sam moves away and Dean hears rustling and then comes the rasp of a zipper, quiet steps on the floor and the snick of a deadbolt being turned. The door swings open and cool air wafts across his cheek before he hears the door close again.

He feels anger lick up inside him. Only Ruby can make Sam sneak around like this.

He jumps out of bed and strides to the window, yanking a shirt over his head and grabbing his pants, pulling them on as he spies on his brother. Sam's standing just outside in the parking lot, his back to Dean, waiting for something.

Dean shrugs on his jacket, seeing the car outside pull up and Sam talks to the driver for a moment before getting into the passenger side. They drive away just as Dean opens up the door and makes a beeline for the Impala.

He backs out quickly, leaving the lights off and gunning the engine, keeping the other car in his sights, avoiding the street lights so Sam won't catch on he's being followed.

The car pulls into a parking lot at another motel, and drives up to an end unit. Sam gets out, slamming the door and sure enough, Ruby gets out of the driver's seat, closing the door and walking up to the room with Sam.

Dean jogs quietly over to the window and crouches low, peeking through the drapes that aren't pulled all the way and that offer him a clear view of the bed. He sees Sam sit down on the bed and Ruby climbs on top of him, straddling his crotch.

Dean scowls. _What the fuck? Sam sure can't want to get laid so what is this shit?_

He sees Ruby bare a forearm and take up a knife, watching her slice a deep cut through her skin, the blood welling up quickly. She reaches for Sam, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him forward. He grabs her arm and-

_What in the Christ is he fucking doing? Oh, shit, he's not gonna…_

Sam has his mouth pressed over Ruby's arm, sucking on the cut, slurping down her blood, drinking like he's dying of thirst and Ruby has her head thrown back, eyes closed like it's the best feeling in the world.

Suddenly, Dean _knows_.

He knows everything with crystal clarity, what Sam was doing all the time Dean was in hell, how Sam and Ruby trained together, how they've grown so close to each other and mostly, how Sam's power has gotten so strong so quickly.

A wave of nausea hits Dean as he watches his brother, his baby brother, drinking the bitch demon's blood like he's a _goddamn_ Dracula or something. He fights to stop from hurling, a cold, clammy sweat breaking out on his forehead and he puts his head down, closing his eyes against the sight as he pulls in slow, deep breaths until the feeling passes.

The coldest anger he's ever known starts licking at him, working its way over his spine, into his gut and over his heart. The stark betrayal at the lies, at the loss of trust leaves him breathless and he clenches his fists white, shaking all over, the rage overwhelming him, consuming him.

Dean clenches his jaw tight and stalks around to the door, his adrenaline racing through his blood, wanting to kill something, wanting to rip that bitch apart, that fucking skanky bitch who made his brother into this monster.

He kicks the door in with all his might and slams through it.

*

Ruby gives a squeak of surprise when she sees him and yanks her arm away from Sam's mouth, falling off him onto the floor.

Sam sits there, eyes half-closed in rapture at the demon strength he's got now flowing through his veins, his chin covered in blood and realizes suddenly that Ruby's gone, his meal ticket disappeared and he growls his displeasure.

"Sam!" Ruby screams at him and he comes to awareness in a heartbeat, seeing Ruby jump up and back up against the wall and-

His heart starts pounding like a jackhammer in his chest.

_Holy Fuck_, it's _Dean. _ Dean is standing there, staring at him.

The look in Dean's eyes…

Sam can't stand how Dean's looking at him, like he's the most loathsome, despicable creature on the face of the earth.

He wipes his mouth, his eyes pleading with his brother to try to understand, to still love him and want him but Dean's face is a stone, cold and dead and it rips Sam apart to see him standing there, broken and bleeding right in front of him.

He just broke Dean completely, Sam can see it in his eyes, shattered him more than hell ever could because Sam betrayed him, Sam cut him down, wounded him too deep to ever heal and Dean just stares at him, old and lifeless.

Sam sees himself as he must look through Dean's eyes and he's ashamed, repulsed by himself and unworthy of his brother's love.

"Dean-" Sam stutters out.

Dean's eyes are locked on his, a deep cutting sadness shines out of them and he shakes his head slowly, whispering, "You're not my brother anymore-"

And he's gone, as quickly as he came and Sam struggles to his feet, running to the door, yelling Dean's name even as he sees the Impala speed away into the night.

Sam knows he just lost his brother for good and he collapses onto the ground, puking his guts out onto the black pavement, shaking and crying, crying for Dean.

*

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-Warnings: **Violence and a character death in here. Song lyrics below by Beyonce.

**Additional A/N: ** I didn't change this chapter because of a reader complaint. I changed it because it didn't sit well with **me** after I wrote it and seeing the first review just cemented that for me in my gut. I didn't like the Dean I portrayed. I want this series to be a love story between the brothers and I felt my first post didn't reflect the deep love that the boys have always had for each other. No matter how pissed off they get at each other, they always still love each other. I didn't feel that I could redeem Dean from hurting Sam in that way and honestly, I didn't like the direction it made my story take. I needed to fix it.

*

_Remember those walls I built  
Well, baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make up a sound_

*

*

"Ruby, I need the keys!" Sam bursts back into the room, a look of panic in his eyes.

"Sam, wait! Where's Dean?" Ruby asks.

"I don't know, I don't know!" Sam almost sobs it, his skin crawling with nerves and he doesn't want to wait, doesn't want to talk but has to move, find Dean now, right now!

He grabs Ruby's shoulders, shaking her hard, "Give me the fucking keys!"

"Here!" and she yanks them out of her pocket, shoving them into his hand. He runs out, Ruby close on his heels and she watches him jump in the car and drive away, squealing the tires in the quiet night.

*

Ruby turns back to the open doorway with a satisfied grin on her face and goes back inside. Shutting the door behind her, she opens her cell phone, dialing quickly.

When the voice answers, she says gleefully, "Sam's all alone now. He's vulnerable. We can make our move tonight."

"Yes, today was his last. It should be enough." She listens and nods eagerly, "But I get to do it, right?"

Another pause and then a sigh, "Ok, I'll wait for you to come. Yes, I understand."

She hangs up and starts packing, clothes first, stuffing them into a bag and then heads into the bathroom for the toiletries. Halfway into the darkened room, she stops, her breath catching in her throat, the hairs rising up on the back of her neck and she knows she's not alone.

It's no surprise when Ruby feels the hand grip her throat and she's shoved into the wall, her back and head cracking up hard against it. She can barely breathe through the pressure on her neck and when the light is clicked on, she sees who's gripping her, squeezing her and she closes her eyes, knowing she won't make it out of the bathroom alive.

She croaks "Dean…"

His face is cold, hard, looking back at her with an intense hatred, his eyes glittering like green diamonds and he hisses at her, "Why?"

She claws a hand at her throat, trying to get him to loosen his fingers and when he pulls back slightly, she coughs and rasps, "Why what?"

"Why Sam? What do you want with him and who was that on the phone? Who are you working with?"

"So many questions."

His fingers tighten back up, cutting off most of her air.

"I want answers."

"Or else what? You'll kill me?" Ruby whispers hoarsely against the hand gripping her windpipe, "Don't you think Sam'll have something to say about that?"

Dean curls his lip at her, his nose wrinkling in disgust, "Sam isn't in this anymore, bitch. It's just you and me. And I'm going to kill you one way or the other. The question you need to worry about now is, am I gonna kill you fast or torture you first before I slit your throat?"

As Ruby's eyes turn black, Dean puts the demon knife to her neck, "All depends on the answers you come up with and you better start talking 'cause the slow torture is beginning to look real good to me right about now."

Ruby gasps for air, kicking her feet against the wall where Dean's got her pinned, trying to work her fingers underneath his grip to loosen it. She wheezes through the pressure, "Sam is right where we want him. Everything's in place and you can't stop it."

"We'll see about that. Who's we?"

She squeezes her lips up tight and Dean pulls her back, banging her head against the wall to get her attention, his voice low and threatening now, "Who's we?"

"If I tell you-" She manages through the pain, "I'll be tortured for all eternity, worse than hell ever was. Not gonna tell you a damn thing."

Dean's eyes turn deadly and an evil smile crosses his lips as he bends his head near Ruby's, voice low and silky, "Don't you know who I _am_ and what I did in hell, Ruby? I ripped evil skanks like you apart for fun, for pleasure. Look into my eyes and ask yourself this…"

And he pulls back, staring at Ruby with a ruthless glare as he runs the tip of the knife along her skin, drawing a small bead of blood and making her cry out, the blade giving off sparks from her skin, the demon poison working it's way into her, wounding her.

Dean digs in the point on one side of her neck, voice menacingly low "Ask yourself, who do you need to be most scared of right now?"

She flashes him a 'fuck you' look and Dean shrugs matter-of-factly, his eyes gleaming with hatred, "Ok, it's torture…"

And the tip of the knife is skewered deeper, a pinpoint of blood blossoming and becoming a drop, trickling down Ruby's neck.

"Alright, alright!" Her bravado slips off, replaced by fear shining in her eyes as she mutters, choking "It was Lillith…Lillith on the phone."

Dean narrows his eyes at her, "You're working with Lillith?"

Ruby coughs at the pressure on her throat and nods, rasping out, "She wants Sam's power. She can get it if he becomes a demon. That's how she gets all her power, by feeding off other evil."

"Sam's not a demon!" Dean yells in her face.

"Feeding him my blood-" she wheezes as Dean bears down on her windpipe and finishes quickly, "will turn him, change him and then Lillith can suck him dry before she destroys him."

Dean releases her suddenly and she rocks back into the wall, holding her damaged throat.

Ruby flashes Dean an evil grin, rasping out, "Lillith was giving me the honor of killing him, as payment for putting up with his whining and sniveling all these months about _you_, poor, sad Dean, gone to hell and not the same since. Well, boo-hoo. The rest of us just have to suck it up but you…you get to be all wounded and broken up and you know what? You had it easy in hell! You were special, chosen, not like the rest of us pions that had no choice. At least you got off the rack. Some of us didn't get the chance."

Dean closes his eyes for a moment, tic twitching in his cheek, jaw tight as he listens and he struggles not to rip off her face, not to kill her where she stands and he realizes he's reached it, that last rung, that final straw that breaks his resolve and he shrugs without regret. Struggle over.

Dean bends closer to her so he can whisper in her ear, "This is for my brother-"

And plunges the knife deep into her belly as she shrieks, fire slicing through her, and he yanks it upward, splitting her wide open.

Dean hisses in her face, "You tell that rancid piece of shit Lillith when you see her that I'm coming for her next."

And he twists the knife in, her screams echoing in the small room, and Ruby's gurgling on her own blood, electricity crackling through her as she dies, her fingers scrabbling at the blade, trying to pull it out even as she gives one last gasp and her head falls back, eyes wide open, staring in space, a red trickle running out of her mouth and down her chin.

Dean watches the life leave her eyes with a grim satisfaction, revulsion trembling on his lips and he steps back, pulling the knife out of her gut and letting the body fall to the floor with a sickening thud.

He bends down, wipes the knife on her shirt and stares at her face, nodding slightly before he mutters, "Always knew you couldn't be trusted, bitch."

*

*

Dean stands outside their motel room, shivering, even though the night air's comfortable, watching Sam inside wearing down a path in front of the window, jerky agitation in every step.

_He's so cold inside._

Christ, his heart hurts so much right now. Dean can't believe that slowly, surely, those two bitches are turning Sam into a fucking demon. They led Sam so easy, right by the nose, reeled him in and turned him bad and he didn't even put up a fight.

Dean's fists clench and all he wants to do is rage against this, beat some sense into Sam, shake him silly until Sam gives it up and tells Dean he's not going to do this anymore, that it was all a mistake and Sam's learned his lesson and he's not evil, never was and he's still the Sam that Dean's always loved.

Dean's pretty fucking sure it's not gonna go down that way.

Goddamn Ruby. He shoulda trusted his gut on her and not listened to Sam. Sam was floundering when Dean went to hell and his judgment was bad, his heart broken and it was Dean's fault that all this happened. If Dean had stayed _here_, where Sam needed him, Sam wouldn't have started drinking demon blood.

But then, if Dean had broken his contract and hadn't gone to hell, Sam would be dead now.

He shoves his fists into his pockets, teeth starting to chatter with the cold in his gut, thinking about the past, brooding and stewing about what he did.

Dean weighs and measures it. Nope, he'd still make the same call today. He'd sell his soul all over again for Sam in a heartbeat.

There was nothing he coulda done to change what's happening now.

This was all Sam. _He'd_ made the choice to get more power, to drink bitch juice, even though he knew Dean was dead set against it. What were Sam's words? He _needed_ it.

Sam had done this, slashed them apart with this and the _fuck_ of it was, every time they talked about him not using his powers, Sam had lied. Lied to Dean's face every fucking time and that was something Dean couldn't, wouldn't forgive.

The hurt of it hollowed him out, twisted his gut and made him want to sob with Sam's betrayal. Somehow, someway, he'd screwed up the only job he'd ever loved and he'd lost _his_ Sammy, the innocence and gentle heart gone for good, and Dean didn't even know who his brother was anymore.

The rage he felt when he killed Ruby still simmers just below the surface, making his skin hot and flushed as he tries to fight against it and he's scared, so scared of it because now it's directed at Sam and he doesn't know what's going to happen when he goes into that room.

_So cold. Christ, he's so cold._

*

Sam paces back and forth frantically, rubbing at the back of his neck, trying to reach Dean with his mind. He hears the key in the lock and holds his breath, waiting as the door swings open and Dean walks in.

Dean's face is carved in stone, forbidding and angry, and he stares at Sam, not saying a word but walking past his brother to snatch up his duffle bag, grabbing clothes haphazardly and stuffing them inside. His face and shirt are spattered with blood.

Sam steps towards him, heart in his throat, "Dean, is that your blood? Are you hurt?"

Silence.

Dean brushes past Sam and goes into the bathroom, Sam trailing after him, watching his brother grab bottles, razor and toothbrush, dumping everything into the bag before zipping it closed. Dean turns and starts to breeze by but Sam grabs him and stops him mid-stride, his hands running over Dean's body, searching for wounds, finding none.

"Just stop, Dean. Tell me where you're hurt."

Dean shoves him away snarling, "It's not mine. Now get the fuck off me!"

He's out of the bathroom fast, almost to the door when Sam dashes past him, blocking his exit, staring at Dean with grim determination, heart thumping uncomfortably as he crosses his arms over his chest and takes his stand.

"No, Dean, you're not going anywhere, not like this. Come on, man, we have to talk about this."

"Get the hell out of my way."

Sam digs in his heels, "No!"

"Sam, I'm warning you-"

"What are you gonna do, Dean? Punch me out? Kill me? You're gonna have to do one or the other 'cause you're not getting by me otherwise, not while I'm still standing!"

"Sam, you need to-you need to let me by…" Dean can barely get the words out, bright red spots high on his cheeks and he looks like he's going to explode at any moment.

Sam, eyes stinging with tears, holds out his hands in supplication, pleading desperately "I can't. If I let you walk out right now, it'll be over, we'll be over and I'm not going to let that happen. You need to listen to me. I can-"

"Explain? Oh, you can explain this? Really, Sam? What, with more lies? You-" Dean voice is harsh, and he shakes his head, unable to continue.

"Dean, please." And Sam blindly reaches out to Dean, needing physical contact, needing his brother's warmth, trying to tell Dean what's in his heart by touching, trying to pull him close, to hug and when Dean resists, Sam panics.

He grapples with Dean, pushing his struggling hands away and using sheer strength to cement his hands behind Dean's neck, yanking him forward, pressing his forehead to his brother's, whispering frantically, over and over, "Please, Dean, please. I love you. Please, I love you…"

And Sam's tears spill over as his mouth captures Dean's, lips hungry, grasping, trying to find his brother again and Sam thinks if Dean will just _let_ him, they'll be ok, they can talk after, after he shows Dean how much he loves him.

Dean jerks back like he's been touched with a live wire and he's pushing at Sam, gasping, wiping his mouth with his forearm, rubbing away Sam's kiss and he stares up into Sam's pleading eyes-

*

"Don't. You. Touch. Me!!" Dean spits each word out, swiping at his lips again, trying to get rid of the sweet taste of his brother's mouth on his, and he gives Sam a shove backwards but Sam won't let go, his hands stay solid and Dean can't get loose.

Dean's voice is harsh, cutting, "You keep your fucking dirty mouth off me! Love me? Do you even know what the fuck that is, Sam? You have no idea what you've done here. You threw everything we had away, right in the goddamn _blood sucking_ toilet and you have no right to say that shit to me now."

Dean shakes his head, barking out a half-laugh that turns into a sob in his throat, "Love me…yeah, right."

"I do, I do…" and Sam pushes his face close to Dean's, hot breath tickling Dean's skin and Sam threads his fingers in Dean's short hair, whispering so low Dean almost can't hear, "Please don't leave me…please don't leave, not after all we've been through, Dean. It would end me."

Dean yanks at Sam's arms, finally loosening his grip and pulls Sam's hands down, off him, pushing him away, body quaking with suppressed wrath, staring at Sam's mouth, those soft lips that once gave him such pleasure and now all he can see is them pressed onto Ruby's arm, sucking-

Those lips…

With a snarl, he steps forward, grabbing Sam by the back of the head, fingers twisting in Sam's hair, yanking Sam's mouth down to his, kissing him cruelly, crushing Sam's lips against his teeth, grinding his own mouth against Sam's, almost choking them both.

Sam struggles against the kiss and then, a moan wrenching out of his throat, he relaxes, opening up for Dean, lips pliant against the rough pull of Dean's mouth.

Dean doesn't let him breathe, trying to punish, to dominate and Sam lets him, lets Dean force his tongue in and he feels Sam's tongue, trembling, slide gently around to meet his, giving tenderness to Dean's fierceness, pulling at Dean's heart, bringing him back from the rage.

Sam's hands are touching him, tentatively, hesitantly, slipping under his shirt, sliding around his bare skin, circling his hip bones, and Dean feels the tremor in Sam's fingers and shivers, surprised by the pleasure that surges through him at the soft pressure of Sam's flesh. The relentless cold inside his gut begins to fade away.

Disgust rears up inside at how easily Dean starts thinking with his downstairs brain and he's more angry at himself now than Sam. He breaks the kiss, staring into Sam's big eyes, hears Sam's soothing mutter, _come on, it's ok, it's ok_, as the hands on his hips pull at him, trying to bring him back in for another kiss.

Christ, this is wrong, so _fucking_ wrong, he needs to be screaming at Sam, hitting him, pounding some sense into him, not _kissing_ him, for God's sake, not wanting him so freaking much that his head is going to explode unless he can touch him, taste him.

He wars with himself, wanting to shove Sam away and have a showdown, but his stupid heart, his needy, hungry, aching heart craves the feel of Sam, the taste of Sam so much that Dean's skin is tingling with it and his muscles clench tight as he tries to resist the pull of that delicious mouth that's just there for the taking.

Dean steels his heart against the tug of Sam's hands, stands his ground against the love in Sam's whispered acceptance and he's doing ok, hanging onto his anger with obstinate determination, biting on his cheek not to let his dick take over the situation-

Then, just when Dean thinks he's winning and is ready to step back into the fight swinging, Sam's hands move on him, sliding over his ribs to his back, fingers stroking lovingly, slowly over his skin and _damn_, Sam's hands are so hot on him, and his control wavers-

Then, Sam licks his lips, pink tongue sliding out and over the flesh, and that's it, the shaky thread holding Dean back, stopping him, unravels and snaps and his walls burst open, tumbling down and _can't stop now, too far gone_-

He shoves Sam back, slamming him up against the door, hitting hard, and battens down on Sam's mouth again, crashing their teeth together, wanting to hurt them both, make them both bleed with this. Sam holds on tight, giving Dean whatever he wants, opening his mouth, letting Dean ravage and plunder him and Dean takes all that Sam offers, sucking and biting on Sam's lips until they're bruised and swollen.

Tugging back on Sam's hair, Dean kisses and nips down the length of his brother's neck, pressing his lips to the throbbing pulse in Sam's throat, desperately hungry for the taste and smell of Sam, wanting to bury himself there.

Dean pulls back to catch his breath, and they both pant into the space between them, eyes locked on each other, hot and dark with lust.

Dean breathes into his brother's face, "I fucking hate you right now, Sam, you know that?!"

In answer, Sam's hands slide over his chest, rolling over his nipples quickly, making Dean nearly jump out of his skin, breath huffing out and _Jesus Christ-_

Dean shoves his hips into Sam's, pinning him to the door as he grinds his body against Sam's, eyes never leaving his brother's face as he pushes and rocks his swollen dick into Sam's, their jeans stiff and rustling together, their breath puffing and mixing in the space between them, lips close enough to touch.

Dean feels Sam erection, huge and hard, against his own and he's rolling his hips into Sam's now, humping against his brother's bulge, groaning low in his throat as he feels Sam's dick bump back, and his breath gasps out of him as he feels the flickers of heat spread through his belly.

Sam's hands are everywhere, flicking over his nipples and sliding over his ass to cup the cheeks, yanking him closer, banging hip bones and bellies, and Dean can tell Sam's getting close, the bucking of his hips faster, his breath harsh next to Dean's mouth.

Tunnel vision now, only Sam's breath and mouth and fingers and that fucking rock hard dick rubbing against his own and Dean's hips buck and sway, the blood rushing to his head and his belly as the flickers turn to flames and he rubs harder now, barely able to catch a good breath but it doesn't matter, nothing matters, only that sweet fucking explosion that's coming, coming…

One hand behind his head yanks him forward and he feels Sam's mouth, hot and wet, cover his as Sam's tongue plunges deep, breath hitching out in rhythm to the smacks of Sam's hips into his own.

Sam stiffens, his muscles rigid and he rocks into Dean once more before he gasps out a muffled, _Oh, shit _into Dean's mouth and Dean knows Sam's shooting off in his pants, and he watches his brother's face through his orgasm.

The pain-pleasure in Sam's eyes as he reaches release makes the fire in his own dick spread, flicking over each nerve ending and Dean bucks his hips harder, rubbing himself up against Sam, feeling the wave rolling in, and his muscles tighten, body shaking with tension and almost there, almost there-

And _Sweet Jesus, there it is_, breaking and spurting into his underwear and he pumps against Sam helplessly, finishing, trembling as the after shocks rock through him.

Dean lets his head drop onto Sam's chest and Sam's head is on his, Sam's arms warm around him, feeling so safe and nice that Dean hugs Sam's waist and they rest like that, pressed against each other, legs shaking, skin and nerves tingling, catching their breath.

When they recover, Dean reluctantly pulls away and Sam gives him an understanding look and a nod.

"Guess we shouldn't have done that, huh?"

Dean nods, "Guess not. Didn't fix a damn thing, did it?"

Sam stares at him, "It made me feel not so scared."

Rubbing the back of his neck, Dean agrees, "Me, too, I guess. I'm still mad at you but I'm not crazy with it now."

"I'm really sorry about all of this, Dean. I would give anything to take this away from us."

"Sammy-" Dean's voice is small, sad, "You lied to me…over and over again. How could you do that to me? I don't understand…"

*

Dean's eyes are staring into his, green flames flickering with betrayal and hurt, and Sam tries to explain what he himself doesn't clearly understand. He begins carefully, trying to feel his way through and get it out before Dean gets mad.

"Let me-", his voice sounds weak to his own ears and he clears his throat to try again, "Let me ask you something, Dean. If you found a way to make sure you could protect me and make sure I was safe, would you do it?"

Dean begins hotly, "Sam-"

"Answer me! You telling me you wouldn't do everything, use everything in your power to take care of me, to make sure I was ok? Cause I know you! You'd do it in a second!"

"You're drinking demon blood! That's a lot different than a gun or knife, Sam! What part of evil aren't you seeing here?"

"And you went to hell Dean! You did it so I could live! I'm doing this to protect you, to protect us so we can live! The only way we can defeat Lillith is to use every weapon we can get our hands on! And yes, if that means me, then I'll use me!"

Dean presses his lips together, crossing his arms over his chest and angry sparks fly out of his eyes, "You know they set you up?"

"What?"

"Ruby. She was working with Lillith, Sam. Do you know ever time you drank her blood, you turned more evil? She was turning you into a demon!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Ruby told me. Lillith wanted your power and the only way she could get it was to turn you into a demon. And you turn into a demon by drinking demon blood, according to your bitch on tap. Ruby was going to be the one to kill you after Lillith pulled out your power."

Sam's brain is in overdrive, trying to comprehend what Dean is telling him, "I was turning into a demon? Ruby told you that?"

"Yes. Now you know why the angels and God wanted you to stop."

Sam shakes his head, "That doesn't make sense, Dean. I was getting weaker with each passing day that I didn't feed off her. If I was turning into a demon, my power wouldn't have gone away. It would have grown."

Dean stares at him, "All I know is they were going to take you tonight because you were alone. They thought you were vulnerable because I took off."

"Ok, so why didn't she finish the job, Dean?"

Dean, his face stone cold and vicious, grates out, "'Cause she's dead, Sam. I gutted her with the knife…right after she came clean about you."

Sam stares at him "_Jesus_, Dean."

"Had to be done, shoulda done it a long time ago, man. Maybe I coulda saved you from this…Christ, Sam, what the fuck, huh? This thing you're doing, what you're turning into...it's not human, you know that, right?"

Sam sets his jaw, "I'm doing what I have to do to protect us. That's all I know."

"When you turn completely, then what? You'll be gone from me and I'll be alone, we'll both be alone."

"No, Dean. It won't be that way."

"You can't stop it. That's the only way it's gonna go down. But, you know what? None of it matters because you made your choice, Sam. You didn't trust me enough to talk to me about this. You lied to me, every fucking time and now _I_ can't trust _you_. If we don't have trust between us, we got nothing."

"I knew you wouldn't understand and that you'd try to stop me."

"You're right, I would have. Because it's wrong, Sam. You understand that? It's _wrong_."

"Not if I'm doing it for the right reasons."

"No reason is enough to risk your soul. Not even me, Sammy."

"But you did it, Dean."

"What was it Dad used to tell us? Do as I say, not as I do? Holds true for me, too, Sam."

And Dean picks up his duffle bag from where it landed during their passionate interlude and slings it over his shoulder, staring up at Sam with hard eyes, "And until you understand that you're more important than anything, _anything_, we got nothing to talk about. 'Cause I'm not gonna sit here and watch you turn my brother into an evil son of a bitch that doesn't even remember who he is. I'm not going to watch you kill my brother. I love him too much for that."

Dean pulls Sam away from the door and defeated, Sam doesn't fight him this time.

Opening the door, Dean looks back at Sam sadly, "You let me know when you're ready to leave this shit behind. I'm not coming back 'till you do."

"Dean-"

But the door swings shuts and Dean is gone, quietly, completely and Sam is alone.

Sam leans his head against the door, pounding on it with his fist and lets the tears he's been holding in fill his eyes and slip down his cheeks. His heart aches so bad he doesn't think he can stand it.

His muffled weeping fills the room, the wounded sounds of a broken man.

*

*


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Not much Wincest but it's coming, don't worry. Lyrics by J. Geils Band**

*

_Smashed a hole through my TV screen, Too much too soon if you know what I mean_  
_I lost my mind by the count of ten, Nobody ever gonna put me back together again_  
_You gotta knock it out rock it,You gotta sock it out rock it_  
_You gotta rock rock rock it,Til the walls come tumbln' down_

*

*

Sam's head jerks up.

He's instantly on the alert, the low scrape against the outside of the door making the hairs on the back of his neck rise up, stopping his crying jag instantly. He swipes the tears away from his face and presses his ear closer to the wood, listening intently.

There it is again.

A light scratching, like a fingernail, is sliding along the frame outside, too close for it to be a tree branch or bramble in the wind.

Sam's heart starts to pound in his chest as he realizes that in his misery about Dean, he forgot about Lillith. He shakes his head at his own stupidity, his hunter's mind quickly assessing his situation: his power's been diminished to almost nothing, Dean still has the demon knife and, he groans aloud when he remembers, Dean's got the Impala with all the weapons in it.

He doesn't know if he drank enough of Ruby's blood to do him any good. He can't even begin to consider what Ruby told Dean about him turning into a demon but one thing's for sure - there's no way he's strong enough to take on Lillith now.

Shit! Holding his breath, he reaches up to snick the deadbolt into place as quietly as he can and he backs up, scanning the room quickly, counting entrances and weighing options. He grabs his duffle bag, pulling out salt and holy water and drops to his knees in front of the door, sprinkling a line of salt in front of it before moving to one of the windows.

He hears a tapping on the door as he's laying down salt as fast as he can, and a woman's voice, laughing, reaches his ears through the wood, "Sam. Sammy…come on! Let me in to play!"

Sam moves to the next window but before he can put down any more salt, the glass starts to tremble and shimmer in the lamp light, bending and moving until it bursts into pieces and he yells, covering his eyes as he drops to the floor, curling himself into a ball, shattered glass raining down on his hair and back.

The wind blowing in from the broken window scatters the salt, tossing it into the air, rendering it useless, and a stealthy sound reaches his ears, making him stare incredulously at the door where he sees the dead bolt handle turn slowly by itself, sliding loose and unlocking and then the doorknob, spinning slowly around until-

The door pushes open silently and a figure stands there, silhouetted against the lights outside, waiting for a moment before saying mockingly, "Well, aren't you going to invite me in, Sam? You don't have very good manners."

He rolls over onto his knees, trying not to get cut on the slivers of glass glittering all over the floor, and stands up, holy water in one hand, salt bag in the other, waiting.

The girl steps carefully over the broken shards of window, moving into the light and it's Ruby, still wearing the gore-covered shirt she was killed in, her face splattered with drops of blood, hands stained red and white orbs where her eyes should be.

She looks down at herself and spits out the words, "Do you see what that bastard brother of yours did to this beautiful meat suit? I had to sew it up just to keep her intestines in so I could use it. I promised Ruby she would be the one to kill you and I always keep my word. So here she is, in body if not in spirit, and here I am."

Lillith smiles at him, tilting her head, examining him like he's an interesting specimen, "And here you are, Sam Winchester…no weapons, no power, no brother. Tsk, tsk, tsk, you really didn't plan this very well, did you?"

"Come on, you know you can't hurt me, Lillith! I don't care what Ruby told Dean. I'm no demon and you and I both know it."

The demon shrugs at him, "Well, Ruby has been known to tell a little white lie now and then, as long as it served her purposes. I imagine if she'd told Dean the truth, he'd have made her suffer a lot more than he did before he killed her."

"What truth?"

"When Ruby first started you feeding, she was giving you full strength demon juice and your power grew so fast, you could barely control it. You should have seen your face when ever you would send one of my 'employees' to their death. I was watching you through Ruby's eyes. It made you feel so good, you were wild with it and it wasn't too hard to keep you coming back for more. Hell, all you _wanted_ was more…more power…more invincibility and soon, you were begging Ruby for your fix. Once we had you there, once you were addicted, we started added a little bit of Lillith love to the mix."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, silly boy, that Ruby was drinking my blood at the same time you were drinking hers. So my blood is in your veins and now, your power is mine."

Lillith lifts her hand and a blinding white light pours out, enveloping Sam in its intensity, covering him in shine.

Sam stands his ground, a smile on his lips, knowing he can't be hurt when suddenly, he's thrown backwards against the wall, cracking his head and back so hard the plaster behind him splits wide open. The wind completely knocked out of his lungs, he gasps frantically for air as Lillith walks in front of him, shaking her head.

"You always were a little too full of yourself, Sam. My blood is special…it eats away all human blood in a body and replaces it with my wonderful essence. I've ingested thousands of souls this way, each with their own energies, their own powers. Once I drain your force, your human soul will die and all that will remain is the demon that's inside you, just waiting to get out. Then, you will take your place at my feet and serve me with all the loyalty of a faithful dog. You may as well get used to the idea, Sam because you're already too far gone. All that's left is this – where I take what's mine."

Sam struggles against the force holding him to the wall, pulling his head free with a mighty effort, a strangled "Ahhh" bursting out of him when he finally gets there, and he narrows his eyes, focusing all of his power on the evil bitch in front of him.

He sneers at her, "I'll never serve you!"

Lillith replies with a smile, "Too strong for that, huh? Never is a very long time, Sam and I've seen many strong men broken down to nothing in the pit, begging me to make them the same offer. Look at your brother. So, let's talk again after you spend forty years in hell."

She flicks her hand, pinning his head back against the wall expending no more effort than swatting a fly, "You don't have the power to defeat me, Sam. Not anymore."

Suddenly, a blur of movement bursts through the open doorway and grabs Lillith around the neck. It happens so fast that by the time Sam sees it's Dean, Lillith is already screaming from the knife being plunged into her back.

Lillith loses her focus on Sam and he's free, dropping to the ground, rolling onto his feet, ready to spring into the fight where he can.

Dean's crushing her throat with his forearm, Dean's stabbing her in the back with the demon knife as fast as he can, Dean's snarling in her ear, "I killed you once, you bitch and I'll do it again!"

Lillith grapples with his brother, desperately pulling on his forearm where he's got a steel grip on her neck and finally, reaching a clawed hand over her shoulder, twisting her wrist quickly to send Dean flying across the room. With a sickening thud, Sam watches him crash face first into the wall and fall into a heap on the floor.

"Dean! NO!" Sam hollers and he swings around on Lillith, a rage shooting through him such as he's never known before, a mad growl erupting out of his bared teeth, his vision murky, blood red and all he can see is that _bitch_ smiling at what she did to Dean.

Sam watches Lillith's face change, the smile faltering and a look of surprise, a flicker of fear casts a shadow in her eyes.

He doesn't reach out a hand, doesn't need one as he feels the latent power, hidden for weeks now, surge up through his body and out, almost shimmering out of him in a wall of strength. He gathers it around him and forces it into a fiery ball of seething hatred, mighty and deadly and throws it at Lillith with his mind, slashing it at her in one giant wave.

It hits her hard, holding her stiff and rigid, slamming into her, making her scream out with pain and Sam sees her flesh split, gashes opening all over her skin, all at once, not bleeding because the body had already bled out from Dean's wounds so the flesh is gaping dry and white.

Slashes rip her skin, burn into her, sizzling and popping and she throws back her head, mouth torn wide open and out of the dark cavern comes a torrent of black smoke, pouring into the room, the stink of sulfur and death filling Sam's nose and the acrid plumes gush out through the window, through the door and into the night.

Sam drops to his hands and knees, gasping, weak and trembling with reaction, trying to get his bearings when he realizes that Dean is still huddled near the wall, quiet and unmoving, a smear of blood trailing down the plaster to his body.

"Dean! Dean!" Sam scrabbles across the floor to where Dean lays and rolls him over, heart pounding like a freight train. He sees the busted nose and the bloody mouth, Dean's head lolling back on his arm and he frantically feels for a pulse.

With a sob of relief, Sam finds one, strong and steady, throbbing under his fingers and he closes his eyes against the fear that still trembles along his spine, _thank Christ, thank Christ_.

Sam sits, back pressed tight against the wall and pulls his brother close, hugging him protectively, lips against Dean's forehead, rocking him back and forth, murmuring softly, _It's ok, it's ok…_

*

*

Dean comes to swinging.

Sam has to dodge a mean left hook, almost catching it on the chin, "Whoa, Dean. It's ok."

"Awwww, shit!" Fully alert now, Dean sits up, touching his nose gingerly, wiping away the blood smeared on his face and looking at it in disgust, "Damn, Sammy, that's like the sixth time, man…is there a limit on how many times a nose can be broken?"

"I don't think so. Well, at least now I'm the better looking one. Not that I wasn't before but with your ego, you never would've admitted it." Sam smiles, just glad Dean's awake and here.

"In your dreams, bitch." Dean grumbles, his voice nasally and sounding stuffed up, then looks around, "Where is she?"

"Lillith? She's gone."

Dean scowls at Sam, "Gone where?"

Sam shrugs, "I guess the knife wounds in her back did the trick. She took off like a bat out of hell as soon as you went down."

Disbelieving, Dean searches his face, "Really?"

Sam nods, knowing Dean knows he's lying. He knows how the dance is done and Sam's taking advantage of the Winchester way of life, don't talk, don't tell. Dean will accept the lie, stubbornly refuse to ask him again and the rift between them will grow but at least Sam won't have to put into words how freaked out he is at what just happened between him and Lillith.

Sam looks at Dean and opens his mouth to finish the lie but before he knows it, before he can stop himself, he's shaking his head, looking down at the floor, bangs hanging in his face and he mumbles, "No, not really."

He feels Dean give a start of surprise and he looks up, staring into his brother's face, astonished at what he's gonna do and he takes a deep breath, "Dean, I want to tell you the truth."

*

*

Twenty minutes later, Dean is just as freaked out as Sam is, "So, you have Lillith blood in you…"

"That's what she said." Sam is washing away the blood on Dean's face with gentle hands, using a plastic cup filled with water and a soft cloth and Dean's _letting_ him for once and Sam's grateful that he is. While they were disposing of Ruby's body, he told Dean everything that happened once Dean lost consciousness, holding nothing back, the fear, the rage, the shooting power that rocked his body.

Even though he's still scared, Sam's strangely relieved that Dean knows the truth and the weight on Sam's shoulders isn't just his to carry any more.

"And you still have your own blood in you? Ow!"

"Sorry…I'm sorry." Sam goes more slowly so as not to hurt, "I don't know, Dean. If I had to take a guess, I'd say that our bloods mixed together in me and made something even more powerful than either of us was before."

"Great. That makes me feel a whole lot better, Sam."

"It's scaring the hell out of me, too, Dean." Sam shakes his head in amazement, "You should have seen it…what it did to her. It cut the shit out of her, just sliced her up and pretty much ripped her out of that meat suit. If I had known how to control it, I probably could have killed her then. As it is, she got away."

Dean stares at him, as scared as Sam's ever seen him and Sam tries to lighten the mood.

"Look at the bright side, Dean. If Lucifer comes in and kicks your ass into a wall, I can take him out with no problem."

"That's not funny, Sam."

"It's a little funny, dude." Sam gives him a dead-pan look.

Dean presses his lips together, refusing to crack a smile, "Now I know why you hate it when I say that."

"Dean, Why…why'd you come back?" Sam watches his brother's face carefully, dipping the cloth and wiping blood off Dean's chin.

Dean looks shame-faced, "I never left, Sam."

At Sam's look of surprise, Dean shrugs, "I couldn't leave you in danger, no matter what problems we got between us. You're my brother and I love you and I had to take care of you. I'll always take care of you, Sam. I just had to leave to make sure Lillith followed through on her plan to kill you tonight but I was right outside, watching and waiting for her."

Sam smiles at him, "I'm glad you came back."

Dean shakes his head, "Sam, it's not for good. It was only to make sure that you were safe."

"Wait, you're still gonna go?" The circling of the washcloth stills as Sam holds his breath for Dean's answer.

"Sam, The ultimatum still stands. Until you give this up, we can't be together."

"But, Dean, I don't have control over this now. I don't know how to stop using it because I don't know what I did to start it. I thought my power was gone, that's why I went back to Ruby's – to try to get it back. This thing…this new thing just came out of me when I saw you get hurt and then it was so _fucking_ strong!"

Dean scowls at him, "You can choose, Sam. We always got a choice."

"What choice, Dean? What choice do I have in this?" Sam puts the cloth and glass down, glaring at his brother.

"You can just let it go, Sam. Concentrate on helping me find other ways to kill Lillith and stop the breaking of the Seals. Don't try to make yourself stronger or try to control this thing. Just let it go, man. But more than that, if you just _can't_ let it go, then you need to tell me. Love me enough to tell me the truth cause I swear to God, I can't watch you change into something evil. It would kill me, Sammy, it would end me."

Sam starts to protest, "But, don't you think we should try to figure out how we can use-"

"No, Sam. I don't."

"So I do this or you leave."

Dean's eyes are hard, "Yes. That's the deal."

Sam feels Dean's words hit bottom in the pit of his stomach, churning and grinding in his gut and suddenly, Sam is overwhelmed with all of the shit that's come down on him today – Dean finding out about him drinking demon blood, being told he's turning into a demon, having some serious mojo fly out of his body from God knows where and kicking Lillith's ass with it, losing Ruby in a swick of Dean's knife and now-

His brother, coming back into his life to save him but ready to walk out again, quick as lightening if he doesn't capitulate, if he doesn't bend to Dean's will.

Sam pinches the bridge of his nose against the sudden headache, feeling a slow anger start burning in his belly, working its way up around his heart and he feels himself unraveling, breaking down and coming undone, and he knows he's gonna bust wide open but he can't seem to stop himself, can't stop the hurt from spewing out of him. It's like an open, gaping wound that splits wider with each passing second.

"No." It comes out of his mouth like a surprise and before he knows it, another one bursts out of him, loud and decisive, "NO!"

Dean flinches at Sam's harsh voice, "Sammy-"

Sam takes a deep breath and the fury in his eyes flashes over Dean's face as he grits out the words, "All my life, all my _fucking_ life everyone's told me what to do and how to do it and the _only_ time I tried to make my own choice, I had to fight you and Dad so hard that it broke us. And then, I still ended up giving in, the minute you came and got me from school, I came back and did what you wanted, _again_."

Sam's voice is low and harsh, "Last time, Dean, I let you make the call. _You _decided you were the problem in my life. You _decided_ we couldn't be together. It was all you, Dean and you refused to let me have any kind of say in the decision, just like always. And God help me, I went along with it because at least I still had you in my life, you were still there even if we couldn't have each other and be lovers. But now-"

Sam shakes his head, resolute, determined and damn pissed off, "No more. Not this time. I'm not going along with it, not again. After all we been through, you are not leaving me, Dean. Period. Not gonna happen."

Dean's starting to get mad, "And how do you think you're gonna stop me?"

Sam is suddenly up close, in Dean's space, on his knees in front of him and Dean pulls back instinctively but his shoulders are grabbed in an iron grip and he's yanked forward, stopped when he's a hair's breath away from Sam's face, nose to nose, lips almost brushing and he can feel the heat, the anger from Sam coming off him in waves.

Sam's breath is hot on his face as he hisses, "Because I'm not letting you out of here until we get this straight. You and me, we're gonna do whatever it takes -- fight and yell, throw some punches, and then we're gonna kiss and hug and fuck each other senseless, 'till we can't even stand up and we're gonna keep doing it as long as we have to, until this shit is settled between us. And I'm not giving you a choice. We clear?"

Dean stares up into Sam's face, green eyes glittering, angry as hell and his hands hit against Sam's chest, giving a mighty shove, "Get out of my face, jerk!"

Sam rocks back on his haunches with the push, giving Dean a sweet smile but the glint in his eyes is untamed fury. Sam's reached the edge and he's not backing down any more.

"Ok, man, you asked for it…" and he pulls back a fist, slugging Dean in the jaw as hard as he can, being careful to miss his nose.

Dean's head whips around, and he comes back, hand to his jaw, eyes incredulous "Did you just fucking hit me? Oh, you did _not_ just do that."

"Oh, yeah I did." And Sam scrambles to his feet, beckoning with one hand, "Come on, dude…let's do this…"

"Your ass is mine, Sam." And Dean rises to the challenge, broken nose forgotten as he lumbers in, swinging.

*

*

Ten minutes later, Dean is on top of Sam on the floor, Sam's arm twisted behind his back and Dean pulls up on it, panting harshly in his brother's ear, "You give, Sammy? You give?"

Sam groans with the pain, trying to get up on his knees so he can throw Dean off and Dean tightens his legs around Sam's hips, squeezing tightly and yanks up on his brother's arm again. In truth, Dean's thoroughly enjoying this position because Sam's ass is clenched tight between his thighs and Sam's body is rolling around underneath him, rubbing warm sensations on his crotch, his hardening dick pressed into Sam's backside.

"Shit, Dean!"

"Sammy, give! Say it, man!"

"NO! Not if it means you're gonna leave. You're gonna have to break it 'cause I'm not saying it!"

"Jesus!" With an exasperated breath, Dean releases his arm and unclenches his legs, pulling Sam over by the shoulder. Sam's face is banged up good, swollen eye and cut lip, bruises on both cheeks but he's still not quitting.

Sam had made sure to avoid punching Dean's nose, having sacrificed strength for accuracy, so Dean's bruises aren't as pronounced as Sam's but his face is still puffy and broken."What the fuck, Sam, you got a death wish or something?"

"Dean, I told you, I'm not letting you go! Not as long as I'm conscious!" And Sam tries to swing again but he's got nothing left and Dean easily catches the fist, holding it tight and bends over, his sweat dripping onto Sam's forehead, mixing with his brother's, the smell of Sam wafting up into Dean's nose, making him slightly dizzy, a wave of desire sweeping through his belly, washing over him.

Panting hard, trying to control the passion that's rising up, Dean smiles in grudging admiration at Sam, "Christ, you're a hard head, aren't you? I'm too tired to go anywhere tonight anyway. Want to just take this up in the morning?"

Sam's eyes are suspicious but he nods in agreement and Dean studies his brother's face, his eyes hot and passionate, excited from both the fight and Sam's warm body writhing underneath him. He licks his lips, staring at Sam's bruised mouth, wet and parted as breath is pulled in, and Dean bends to whisper in Sam's ear, "But I pinned you so I win and you have to pay up."

"What-what do you want?"

"I want your beautiful ass, Sammy, up in the air, spread wide and waiting for me." Dean makes his voice soft, sensual and Sam gives him a shiver in return, the tremor working its way up his whole body and his eyes are shadows and lust, full of the image Dean's just put into his head.

"But, first things first…"

And Dean touches Sam's lips with his own, rubbing tenderly across the bruises, pushing open Sam's mouth and sliding in his tongue, dancing and tickling over Sam's delicious taste. God, his mouth is so hot and sweet. He feels Sam move, trying to get closer to him and Dean deepens the kiss, drinking Sam's essence, drowning himself in the flavors of his brother's mouth, savoring every tang, every drop of honey he can pull from Sam's lips.

Down below, Dean is bucking up against Sam, hips rocking into his brother's dick, and Sam's hands have slid behind Dean's head, pulling him close, holding him there.

Dean breaks the kiss, resting his forehead on Sam's and gives a deep sigh of contentment. "Mmmm, you taste so good. Do you remember when you came into my shower that time and you just washed me? Got me all hot and bothered and then just left me there?"

Sam chuckles at the memory, "I was trying to drive you crazy."

"Yeah, it worked. So…"

"So?"

Dean gives a grin, "I want a do over."

Sam's eyebrows shoot up "In the shower?"

"Yeah, in the shower…gotta shower, right? I'm all sweaty and so're you so we may as well get clean and then…we can see what happens next."

Sam feels a smile spread across his face, stopping in pain from the split lip he's sporting and his eyes caress Dean's face lovingly as he murmurs his agreement, "Uh, ok..."

Dean stands up and takes Sam's hand, hauling him to his feet and leading him into the bathroom.

*

*


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Lyrics by John Cougar**

_Wanna put my arms around you  
Feel your breath in my ear  
You can bend me, you can break me  
But you`d better stand clear  
When the walls  
Come tumblin down_

*

*

Skin to skin.

Water glistens, trickling down over muscles drawn tight with anticipation.

Steam hangs in the air, the roar from the shower head drowning out the moans of pleasure from the two bodies writhing below.

*

Dean can't get enough of Sam's mouth. He tastes so damn _good _and Dean can't get deep enough, close enough to that taste no matter how hard he tries. He's got Sam plastered up against the tile, using his hips to hold Sam in place while his hands roam over the taut thighs, firm waist, trembling belly and hard shoulders. Sam's hand is behind his neck, holding him close and the other is gripping Dean's hip. His tongue is deep in Sam's mouth, teeth smashed together and lips stretched wide as he searches for that sweet fucking taste.

Sam moans low in his throat and rucks his body up against Dean's, pushing him back a little, finally managing to break the kiss and pulling in big whoops of air, "Dean, you gotta let me breathe…holy shit!"

"Can't help myself, Sammy." And Dean bumps his forehead against Sam's, genuinely puzzled as he asks the question, "How come you taste so fucking good? You know, ever since you were a little kid, you've had this incredible smell, like the air after a good rain, all clean and wet, earthy and sunshiny, it's just – wow."

Sam's eyes crinkle up at him, smiling into his, making Dean blush and he shrugs, finishing lamely, "Anyway, you taste just like you smell and it drives me crazy."

And he nudges Sam's mouth with his own, asking for permission and Sam tilts his head, brushing his lips over Dean's lightly, teasingly and pulls back, smiling and dips in again, licking over Dean's lips this time, tongue a bare whisper across his brother's mouth. It's hardly a taste, certainly not enough for Deans appetite and he's chafing with impatience, trying to wait for Sam to give him more but finally, with a growl, he takes what he wants by force, pulling Sam forward with a swift tug and covering his mouth roughly.

_So good, so sweet. _

Sam opens up and lets him in willingly, lovingly, hands roaming all over Dean, hot and wet, the spray from the shower making everything slippery and hazy. Tender caresses over Dean's back and ass, cupping and squeezing before moving back to his shoulders, tickling down his arms to his wrists and stroking over his hips, feels so soft and nice…

Christ, he loves it when Sam touches him.

Sam wriggles his hand in between their hips, a tight fit because Dean has molded them together and doesn't want to even let a breath of air in but Sam slides in anyway, brushing his fingertips against Dean's stiffness and Dean jumps at the touch, breath catching in his throat and he breaks the kiss, staring lustfully into Sam's eyes.

When Dean jerks away, Sam dives his hand into the space between them, grabbing hold of Dean's rock-hard erection with a satisfied murmur, bumping against Dean's cheek with his face, moving his mouth to Dean's ear and _shit_, Sam knows that drives Dean crazy when he's panting in his ear like that.

Dean's body shivers as Sam's hot, wet breath tickles the hairs above his ear and when Sam captures his earlobe in between his teeth, Dean gives a moan of pleasure.

Sam works his lips down Dean's neck and over his shoulder, trailing sweet kisses along his hot skin. Dean turns his head, pulling Sam's mouth back to his, tongue sweeping in to flick against Sam's, sliding in deep, growing more passionate as Sam's hand pulls groans from him, Dean's whole body twitching and trembling in reaction.

Sam's got a death grip on his dick now, hand working in between them, dragging the skin up and down and Dean's groaning, knees weak and shaking, trying to stay standing as Sam flicks across the tip of Dean's cock with his thumb on each upswing and oh, _sweet Jesus_, that's nice. Sam's working him something good, Dean's ass clenches forwards with every pull, gasping into Sam's mouth as he tries to kiss him but his concentration isn't on the kiss anymore but on the sweet yank on his dick, those long fingers holding him tight, the flick and tug of Sam's wrist sending shooting stars through his stomach and down his legs.

Sam's other hand is on Dean's chest, thumb doing a slow circle over his nipple and _God,_ Sam knows how much he loves that, it just makes his nerves come alive and the shaking in his knees gets worse and Dean just hangs on, hoping he doesn't land on his ass if his knees give out.

Now, Sam's biting on Dean's lips, nipping on them each in turn, and soon, they're chafe and swollen, dark red against his white teeth and Sam works his way down Dean's jaw, sucking hard until purple bruises appear and he moves to the next spot.

Dean feels owned, possessed, the sensation growing with each mark Sam makes on his skin and he strokes against Sam like a cat, rubbing his face on his brother's, and battens down on Sam's jaw, wanting to give back in kind, let Sammy feel marked, owned, taken. Yes, that's it. He feels taken and wants Sam to feel it, too. That's how it should be.

There go his damn knees again…

*

Sam's body is twitching , nerve endings on fire as Dean's hands roam all over him, as Dean's mouth sucks bruises onto his neck and jaw and Sam's head is thrown back, eyes closed in ecstasy as he loses himself in Dean's touch.

They moved to the bed a short time ago. The hot water had turned to icy cold and both were shivering by the time they realized it.

They had barely toweled off before Dean's dragging Sam out of the bathroom and towards the bed. Sam is pushed backwards onto the blankets without any words being exchanged and Dean climbs up on the bed, staring at Sam's body, stretched out long and lean. Sam gazes up at his brother and Dean shakes his head at him, murmuring, "Beautiful Sam, just beautiful."

Now, Dean bends his head, working his way down his brother's chest, teeth nipping at Sam's skin, sucking and biting his way down to the trembling belly and Sam feels Dean's tongue, licking a wet trail over his hipbones towards Sam's dick. Once he gets there, Dean rubs his face against the stiff erection, standing at attention as it bobs in the air, and Dean laps at it with his tongue, licking up and down, making Sam's breath turn harsh in his chest, sounding loud even to Sam's ears, filling the corners of the room.

_No control, no control._

Sam's groaning and jutting up with his hips, silently begging Dean to take him, suck his cock deep into that wonderful throat and use Dean's incredibly erotic tongue to take Sam high up on the ledge, hold him there and let him fall, dropping him over the side while he screams in pleasure.

Dean's mouth, hot and wet, slides down Sam's dick, covering him with the sweetest sensations that jolt and rock through him, and that fucking tongue… _Christ_, it just slides all over Sam, filling him with sensual curls in his belly, so good it almost hurts, it's almost too much and Dean catches the hot tip in his mouth, tonguing over the slit on top, and Sam's gasps become strangled sounds barely making it out of his throat.

Dean's hands run up and down Sam's thighs, the muscles there are hard and sinewy, tensing as Sam's hips rise up in the air towards Dean's mouth and Dean's hands are under his ass, squeezing and rubbing his ass cheeks as he licks and sucks Sam's stiff flesh. Flames shoot through Sam's belly now as that sweet tongue brings him to a wonderful place, all shimmers and whispers, shadows and heat and Sam's hands find Dean's hair, caressing and pulling, and he's almost sobbing with pleasure.

"God, Dean, so good, so good…" Sam's voice is rough, shaky. He feels Dean take him deep, sucking and pulling on his dick, and Sam is crying out in delight, opening his eyes and seeing Dean watching him, a smile playing on those sensuous lips where they're wrapped around his thick cock.

Dean lets his mouth slowly move up until Sam's dick pops out and Sam moans his displeasure at the loss of Dean's warm mouth, gripping his brother's hair to bring him back down where he belongs but Dean gives his shaft a wet kiss and shakes his head, eyes laughing at Sam.

Dean moves his hands and Sam feels his legs being pushed up towards his chest and then it's Dean's tongue sliding in between his ass cheeks, swirling around the sensitive flesh, pushing inside, hot and wet, circling, pressing and dancing, making Sam jump like a bee just bit his ass. Dean thrusts in his tongue, stiff and sure, poking into him and Sam's limbs feel like jelly, loose and jiggly, and he grabs the sheet under him and twists it in his fists, head thrashing on the pillow as he babbles out his pleasure.

"Jesus, Dean, holy shit, oh my God, feels so…" and trails off in ecstasy.

Sam spreads his legs wider, wanting Dean deeper, and Dean puts his hands on Sam's hips to stop his constant bucking, holding him still and Sam feels the hot wet spear of Dean's tongue stab into him, swabbing and dipping and then it's gone. Before he can get a thought in his head, a thick finger is pushed up into him, slick with lube, circling around inside and out, and Sam groans out his need, his wants, "Dean, Christ, please...I need...inside me…"

Dean pushes in another finger and Sam almost swoons, it feels so good and he's grinding himself down on Dean's hand shamelessly, mindlessly whispering, "Please, Dean, please…"

And Dean moves up between his legs and Sam feels the fingers inside him slip out and the nudge of Dean's dick against him, making Sam reach down to grab his brother's hips, yanking him forward impatiently, "Come on, come on!"

And Dean murmurs, his voice slow and erotic, "Ready, Sammy?"

Sam wiggles underneath him, begging with every breath, with every twitch, "Dea-"

And Dean shoves in hard, cutting off the words, shutting down every conscious thought in Sam's brain, pulling a grunt of pain as Sam's muscles clamp down and Dean waits, flexing his dick in Sam's tightness and Sam's breathing, relaxing and finally nodding up at his brother.

Dean pulls out and thrusts in again, pushing in further with each roll of his hips, Sam grunting low in his throat with each jab of Dean's huge dick inside him, and Dean keeps going until he's home, buried deep and Sam's filled up, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck and pulling him down for a kiss with a grateful moan.

"Feels so good, man…so damn good…"

"You're so tight, Sammy" Dean groans into his mouth, huffing into him and he pulls out again, shoving in hard, and Sam gasps, hanging on for dear life.

The pressure of Dean's mouth on his lips ebbs and flows with the rhythm of their movements and Sam matches his tongue thrusts to the beat of Dean's hips, licking and sliding, dancing around Dean's tongue, slipping in and out passionately, building up the heat in between them.

Dean starts to move faster and Sam knows he's getting close, climbing towards the sweet edge of orgasm and Dean's hand is on Sam's dick now, dragging the skin up and down and Sam can't last much longer-

"Sammy-" Dean puffs into the space between them.

"Dean…" Sam's almost incoherent.

Dean suddenly stops moving, gazing down into Sam's eyes, sweat from Dean's brow dripping down onto Sam's face and their eyes lock as they rest, skin to skin and Sam's eyes are glazed over with passion, with heat as he gives Dean a confused look.

"Dean…what?"

"Let it go, Sam."

"Let-let what go?" Sam can't wrap his head around what Dean's saying.

"Don't use your powers any more, Sammy. Promise me you'll let it go…"

"What? Dean...what?" The words are starting to penetrate Sam's sex-addled brain.

Dean thrusts in and out of Sam, snapping his hips quickly and Sam groans.

"Promise me, Sammy…"

And he thrusts in again, pulling on Sam's dick at the same time and Sam feels anger starting at the edges of passion, red lacing around the lust in his brain but he can't stop the orgasm that Dean's working out of him-

And half of him wants to make Dean that promise but the other half is pissed that Dean is using his _dick_ to persuade Sam, to coerce him.

Dean'll stop fucking him if he doesn't promise.

Dean's hips still again, "Sammy…promise me…"

Sam opens his mouth to promise Dean the world, whatever he wants, as long as he keeps going. Suddenly, the pissed off half of his brain takes over, the red anger no longer at the edges of his brain but full-fledged covering it now and he pushes at Dean, trying to get Dean out of him, wriggling his ass away, pulling back on his hips and getting a foot up onto Dean's body, shoving at his brother and finally, Dean pulls out, away, staring down at Sam in surprise.

Surprise, really? What the fuck did he think would happen?

"You asshole!" Sam snarls at him, rolling away and sitting up, grabbing his clothes, shucking on his shirt and buttoning it angrily while Dean still stands there, dick red and glistening from Sam and the lube, not quite sure what just happened.

"Sam-" He begins, reaching out to touch his brother and Sam smacks his hand away.

"Paws off, jerk! I can't believe you! Did you really think I'd be so out of it, so caught up in you and your fucking dick in my ass, that I wouldn't realize what you were doing and I'd blindly give in?! You're so fucking full of yourself, Dean!"

Sam doesn't even want to let himself remember that it almost worked, that he'd almost promised Dean everything.

He slides on his underwear and jeans before he goes to lie on his own bed, giving Dean his stiff and angry back as he faces the wall.

He hears Dean rustling around, the rasp of a zipper and more movement before the bed dips down behind him and Dean curls up against his back, arm around his waist. He feels a kiss against the back of his neck and another and then a whispered, "I'm sorry, Sam. I just love you and want to keep you safe. Please believe me."

Sam huffs out a breath, anger still rolling through him and he shoves backward with a shoulder, catching Dean on the chin, "That was a shitty thing to do, man!"

"I know and I'm sorry."

Hearing Dean's heart-felt apology has Sam's anger leaving quickly and he relaxes against Dean, "I know you're just trying to take care of me."

"Yeah, Sam. That's all I want to do."

Sam pulls Dean's arm closer around him and nods, "Let's just sleep, ok? I don't want to…let's just take this up in the morning, ok? I'm tired."

Dean mutters agreement, pulling the blanket up over them but Sam can't sleep for a long time, staring into the air in front of him and he knows from Dean's breathing he's awake, too. Sam wishes he could make Dean that promise but he doesn't think he can keep it. And he doesn't want to tell Dean that because Dean will leave.

Sam wars with himself for over an hour, weighing the pros and cons of both sides and finally, he takes a deep breath and rolls over, staring into Dean's alert eyes. Dean looks so sad, so lost and Sam reaches up to touch his face gently before moving in for a chaste kiss.

"I-I promise, Dean. I'll let it go and we'll find another way."

Dean's eyes fill with tears and he puts his forehead against Sam's, unable to speak for a moment and finally taking in a deep, shuddering breath, whispering, "Thank you, Sammy….thank you…"

Sam rolls back over and Dean cuddles in close, mouth next to Sam's ear and, physically and emotionally exhausted, they finally sleep, wrapped in each other's arms.

*

Dean wakes up with a jerk. Something's wrong. He looks around frantically in the dark, feeling the bed for Sam but finding no lanky form sprawled out next to him.

"Sammy?" he calls out, expecting to hear an shout from the bathroom but only silence answers him back.

He rolls over and turns on the light, scanning the room quickly, "Sam?"

Nothing. What the hell?

Heart pounding, Dean searches the room quickly but still no Sam and when he opens the door, the Impala is still there where he left it, right in front of their room.

"Sammy?"

He jogs to the coke machines but no Sam. The ice machine is in plain view. Again, no Sam. He scans the parking lot for a clue, a hint but it mocks him with its quietness, the empty cars like blind soldiers who saw nothing, heard nothing.

Frantic now, he starts to yell into the lonely night, 'Sam! Sammy!!"

*


	5. Chapter 5

_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;  
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  
All the King's horses  
And all the King's men  
Couldn't put Humpty together again_

*

Dean's cell phone rings and he snatches it up, "Yeah?"

His eyes close in frustration, "Damn it, Bobby. It's been three fucking days! He can't have disappeared off the face of the earth!"

The voice on the other end murmurs and Dean growls back in reply, "Don't you think I know how good a hunter he is? He's my brother! I know if he doesn't want to be found, he won't be!"

Dean listens and nods, pinching the bridge of his nose against the headache that's been his constant companion since Sam vanished, "I'm sorry, Bobby, I know it's not your fault. I'm just worried, is all. Sam didn't just go off alone, I'm sure of it. He'da told me where he was going and what he was doing."

He falls silent as the voice on the other end mutters in his ear and then he shrugs, "Yeah, you're probably right. He's most likely trying to find a way to kill Lillith, which makes me even more worried. Just, yeah, let me know if you hear anything, ok? I will. Thanks, Bobby."

Dean hangs up the phone, pacing the room frantically. He hasn't told Bobby anything other than Sam was gone and left his cell phone, his duffle and all his belongings behind. Dean found the keys to Ruby's car in Sam's jacket pocket and sees the car still parked outside where Sam left it.

Seems like a lifetime ago.

_Where the hell are you, Sammy?_ The pit of foreboding chewing away at his gut makes him nauseous and dizzy, and he tries to push the fear away so he can focus on the problem, finding his brother.

The sound of his cell phone reaches his ears and he grabs it on the first ring, "Bobby?"

"Dean."

Dean frowns at the sound of a woman's voice, soft and sensual, "Yeah? Who's this?"

"Aw, you don't remember me? After we spent so much time together and I had such fun playing with you…" the voice says petulantly.

And Dean closes his eyes against the memory, "Lillith…"

"You do remember! Oh, goody! And Dean, you'll be happy to know that I'm not even going to hold it against you that you stabbed me the last time we saw each other."

"You threw me into a wall and broke my fucking nose, bitch!"

"Hey, I won't hold a grudge if you won't. Now, I really didn't call just to rehash old times. I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, what about?"

"I've got Sam."

His heart stops and he feels all the blood rush out of his head, leaving him dizzy and breathless. The room is cold, dead silent, all the air sucked out in the vacuum of Lillith's words and he can't speak with the rage that washes over him and fills his soul.

_Breathe, breathe _

He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling like he's running at a thousand miles an hour, willing himself to find the reins and pull himself back, to get control so he can find Sam, save Sam. Finally, Dean hears a voice, low and hate-filled, work its way out of his throat, "If you hurt him, you bitch, I'll kill you. Do you understand me? You'll be dead."

"Now Dean, that's not very nice. Whether he gets hurt any more is up to you."

"What do you mean 'hurt any more'?"

"Well, he's still alive, Dean. That's about all I can tell you right now. I really have lost control over my silly employees, they just won't stop slicing and stabbing into poor Sam no matter what I say."

Dean grips the phone so hard, he's sure it'll break in two as he spits out the words, "You listen to me. If you hurt him, there's nowhere you'll be able to hide on earth or in hell that I won't find you, that I won't hunt you down and make you wish you'd never laid eyes on me or my brother, you hear me, you skank?"

"Oh, Dean, don't get your panties in a twist! Your main squeeze is still alive…"

Dean goes silent, heart leaping in his chest at her words, "What are you-?"

Lillith continues, "What, do you think I'm stupid, Dean? That I don't know what you two do in the dark all alone? Sam didn't get those love nips all over his neck from his pillow, now did he?"

_She knows. _Dean can barely speak, his heart trip-hammering in his chest, "What do you want from us?"

"I want that knife you stuck in my back, you want Sam. Even trade – the demon blade for your bitch."

"Why don't I trust you to keep your part of the deal?"

"You have no choice if you want Sam back. That knife is your only weapon against me and I want it. Now."

"How do I know you really have him? I need some proof before I walk into a demon playground."

"Dean, always so trusting…" and her voice sounds muffled as she talks to someone on her end, "Bring him."

"Dean!" Sam's voice is weak, gasping his name, "It's a trap! Don't listen! Don't come he-" his words are abruptly cut off and he hears Sam scream in pain.

"Sammy!" Dean hits his fist against the table, once and then again, at his own helplessness, "Shit!"

Lillith's voice comes back on the phone, "Bring the knife to the corner of Fifth and Elm in twenty minutes. Come alone or your bitch dies."

"You fucking-" Dean is left talking to a dial tone. He hangs up and immediately calls Bobby.

*

_Drip drip._

Sam opens his eyes, groaning against the ache in his head, his body throbbing with sharp burning pain, hurting everywhere. He lifts his head to look around, his brain feeling slow and rusty, shadows in the room making it hard to see.

He's naked, tied to a table but sees with relief that he's still got all his parts, even though much of his flesh is either scabbed or crusted with dried blood. Salt covers most of the wounds, the pain of it searing through him even now and his muscles clench against the agony that's humming through his body. His chest and stomach are the worst, thick slices of flesh taken out by the demons that have been torturing him for days now, laughing as they cut away at him, as he screams in anguish.

He's going to kill each and every one of them.

_Drip drip_

Sam was tied upright before, he remembers, right before he lost consciousness. His last thought had been of fear and Dean and fear _for_ Dean. He thought he remembered hearing Dean's voice but can't be sure. His mind is foggy, sluggish, his dreams and awakes meshing together into a jumble of incoherent thoughts. Sam's not sure but he thinks they're drugging him, a cobweb of a memory jutting forward, a hypodermic jabbing into his skin but the flash in his mind is gone quickly and his thoughts are slow, _too_ slow.

_Drip_

What the fuck is that noise? He tilts his head back, trying to pinpoint the wet sound and sees it, pinned up on the wall behind him, the gore of it making him close his eyes so he doesn't have to see it anymore.

One of the demons had taken a liking to him, refusing to cut into him like the others but instead had watched the torture, coming to him later to sew up his cuts so the others could slice him open again and again. She hadn't been a demon long, Sam could tell, because she showed mercy, even kindness when she carefully stitched and dressed his wounds.

Now, she was splayed on the wall behind him, arms and legs bent and broken, sliced and gutted, her insides hanging out and dripping onto the floor, the puddle of blood beneath her pooling out in a wide circle.

A voice reaches his ears, "She was an example, Sam. Show a Winchester mercy and you die. Had to be done."

Lillith.

She's riding a teenage girl now, with pimples and braces and she gives him a sweet smile as she walks over to him and stares down at his body, running a fingernail up along his leg and over his hip bone to circle around his belly button. His tormented skin twitches against her touch and she slices open some of the cuts that have clotted, bringing fresh blood to the surface. Grinning at him, she picks up a salt shaker and slowly taps some of it into the open wounds, watching his face with eager anticipation.

His back arches up in pain, straining against the ropes that bind him to the table, and a deep groan wrenches out of him but he grits his teeth against it, stubbornly refusing to cry out. He won't give her the fucking satisfaction, he decides, as his body trembles in reaction to the salt burning a trail of fire inside him. He's rewarded with a disappointed sigh from Lillith.

Sam stares up at her with hate-filled eyes, his voice a hiss in the air, "You bitch! When I get free…"

"You'll do what? You're so high right now, you couldn't kill a fly. So when Dean comes to save you, the only thing you're going to be able to do is watch him scream when I kill him nice and slow." She strokes the bruises on his jaw, "I hope you enjoyed getting these love marks, Sam, because your boyfriend won't be alive to do this to you anymore."

Her head tilts suddenly to one side and she listens intently. Then she claps her hands together, bends down to Sam's ear, and whispers with glee, "He's here! Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"

Sam begins to holler in a desperate attempt to save his brother, "Dean! Get out of here! Run!"

*

Dean eases around the corner of the building, peeking in the grime-covered window at the deserted warehouse within. He looks around for a second, sees no one within earshot and jabs an elbow through the window, crashing the glass. He sweeps his arm around it, clearing the shards away, leather jacket thick enough so he doesn't get cut, and grabs the upper edge of the window, scooting his body up and in, lowering himself onto the dusty floor, the glass crunching underfoot.

He crouches low, listening to the silence and hears a dripping noise from somewhere to the left. He scans the room, sees the edge of a door through the dim light, and slides over to it, panther-like, quiet and sure in the dark. Easing it open, he peers inside and sees Sam, gagged, naked and sprawled out on a table, his body covered with still-bleeding slashes, struggling against the ropes that hold him down.

His eyes scan the room, taking in the corpse pinned to the wall over his brother's head with no reaction, checking each dark corner, each crevice for a crouching enemy. Nothing.

Dean slides into the room on quiet feet, close to the wall, on the alert as he inches closer to Sam. He drops down low and makes his move, going quickly to Sam's side, yanking off the gag and untying the ropes around his wrists, his fingers working fast, whispering, "Sam?"

Sam's eyes look unfocused, panicked as he trips over the words he's trying to get out of his numb lips, "Dean? Dean! Trap! Go, go now!"

And Dean is ripped away from him, thrown against the wall with a bone-jarring thud and pinned there, groaning in pain.

A disjointed giggle reaches his ears and he's pulled away from the wall and thrown back into it again, agony shooting up through his spine as he hits hard.

A shadow detaches itself from the wall and comes towards him, "Where's my knife?"

Dean grunts out, "Somewhere safe."

"Tsk, tsk…Dean…you don't seem to understand. There is nowhere safe."

Against his will, Dean's arm raises up, moving away from the wall, palm out, straight out in front of him. His fingers spread on their own accord and, as Sam and Dean watch, his pinky finger twists and snaps, breaking in half.

Dimly, he hears Sam's voice, "Dean!" and a white-hot streak shoots through his hand and arm and he's yelling something but he doesn't know what, can barely think through the smeared pain in his head and he's breathing through it, huffing in and out, chest heaving and the pain calms down to a nauseating throb.

Dean's head falls back against the wall, his lip bloodied from him biting it and his hand drops down without his consent, hitting against the plaster with a bang, yanking a moan out of him at the bright agony that flares in him again.

Lillith smiles at him, "Now, let me ask again. Where's my knife?"

Dean takes in a deep gasp of air, pulling strength from deep within him and he spits out the words at her, through his shaking muscles, "Fuck you!"

Lillith flicks a glance at Sam and shrugs, "I see you got the brains in the family."

She turns back to Dean, crooking a finger at him and his arm twitches and moves, the pinky swelling fast, hand rising up again but stopping in mid-air in front of Dean's face. He slants his eyes at Lillith and sees her struggling against something, her body trembling with strain as she tries to keep control and then Dean hears the low voice, chanting out the exorcism ritual, the calm monotone never wavering.

Bobby walks into the room, holy water splashing in a wide arc around him, giving himself a safe circle of light, punctuating the Latin words falling from his lips, backing Lillith up against the wall and holding her there.

Dean falls to the ground, free from the demon's grip, and jumps up, snatching the knife out of the back of Bobby's pants, slashing through Sam's ropes while Bobby works the spell, pinning Lillith to the wall, giving Dean precious minutes to save Sam. He grabs Sam's clothes and pulls his brother up, draping his arm over Dean's shoulders as he half-carries, half-drags the lanky form to the door.

Bobby meets Dean there, trying to pry open the heavy door when the voices murmur around them and Dean turns, seeing demons, counting at least ten of the evil bastards surrounding them, eyes black and shining, advancing on them slowly.

Dean shoves Sam behind him to the floor, protecting him, brandishing the knife, swinging it from side to side while Bobby splashes holy water in a constant arc, using it as a shield. The demons rush them and Bobby and Dean know they won't survive this fight because it's too many against too few and they barely have weapons, so it's just a matter of time before they're captured and killed but they gear up to take as many evil sons of bitches out as possible before they bite it…

Suddenly, the evil figures stop dead, mid-flight, and Bobby and Dean exchange confused looks, not sure what just happened but grateful for the extra minute of life.

Behind Dean, Sam straightens up to his full height, beautiful and torn in his nakedness, his eyes glittering with a rush of power that comes from his gut, turns around and stands, arms outstretched and before Dean or Bobby can do more then blink, the black smoke is pumping out of the demons, all at once, being ripped out of their bodies by the smoldering strength in Sam.

Dean can feel it in the air, pulsing from Sam's body, the electricity shimmering, surrounding his brother and he falls back with a cry, away from Sam, the hair on Dean's arms standing upright and feeling like he was just hit by the edge of a bolt of lightening.

Dean sees Bobby, the same shell-shocked expression on his face, staring at Sam like he's looking at the devil himself. The demon smoke is still swirling around them and Sam reaches out a fist, clenching tight, and the plumes of smoke join together into one funnel cloud, spiraling into the center with a burst of flame, a ring of fire burning and then quietly expiring, leaving sparks winking harmlessly back at them.

The bodies fall to the ground and when Dean shoots a look back at Lillith, her meat suit is also laying empty and useless on the floor.

Dean backs up away from Sam, eyes huge and conflicted, love and fear warring for first place in his gaze, in his mind, and he whispers, "Lillith?"

Sam is breathing harshly, body racked with spasms as he unconsciously fights against the huge power that's within him. He hears Dean's whisper through the red cloak that's covering his brain and he pulls in huge whoops of air, shaking his head to clear it and finally, he's back and Sam again, looking over at Lillith's body and giving Dean a fearful look, "I don't know."

"What the hell was that, Sam?" Bobby grabs his shoulder.

Sam rubs his face, shaking off the dregs, "Bobby, I wish to _Christ_ I knew." He stares at Dean for a moment, seeing the fear in his eyes and Sam's face crumples, "Dean, don't look at me like that! I don't know how to stop it!" and he slumps down to his knees on the floor, the tears coming fast as he covers his face in shame.

*

Dean watches Sam sleep, his dreams chasing expressions around on his face, his broken body twitching with leftover jabs of pain. He'd gotten Sam up off the floor and dressed, struggling with his still crying brother who was begging him to please try to understand.

While helping Sam get his shirt on, Bobby had remarked on how Sam's neck and jaw were so bruised up it looked like Lillith or someone had given him a bunch of hickeys to remember them by.

Then, Bobby'd gone real quiet when he'd studied Dean's jaw, his eyes moving back and forth between the brothers. Dean had met his gaze with a steady look, willing Bobby to ask the question, ready to admit his love for Sam but Bobby had withdrawn, hadn't wanted to know even though he _did_ know, and simply helped Dean get Sam to the car, watching them drive away with a sad look.

Dean had helped Sam shower, washing off the cuts carefully and sewing up the ones that needed it, disinfecting him with Scotch as best he could, toweling Sam off and rolling him into bed naked where he fell asleep instantly.

Now, Sam is moaning, the dreams turning cold and he's rolling around, working himself up to a good thrashing just before Dean grabs him up and hugs him close, murmuring soothingly into Sam's ear, "Shhh, it's okay, Sammy, it's alright, you're safe now…"

"Dean!" Sam is wild-eyed, still in the throes of the nightmare, gasping against him, arms going around his chest, squeezing him so tight, Dean can barely breathe, "You're here! Thank Christ! I thought you left…thought you hated me and left…can't handle that…need you, need you so freaking bad…" and Sam's nuzzling into Dean's neck, inhaling his smell, lips hot and needy.

The feel of Sam against his neck is doing strange things to Dean's skin, making it come alive, tingle with goose bumps and he feels his dick start to wake up and stand at attention.

Sam pulls back, hands sliding up to Dean's face, urging him forward, wanting him close, "Please don't leave me…don't ever leave me, Dean, I can't take it if you leave…"

"Shh, Sam…"

Sam is agitated and Dean moves his hands gently over Sam's back, trying to bring him fully awake but Sam's still frantic, panicking, acting like Dean said something else, "No! I know that's what you're going to do! You're planning it! I – I didn't mean to use my powers! It just happened…"

"Sammy…let's talk about it later, ok?"

Sam shoves back against Dean's chest, suddenly angry, freaking out, staring at Dean with fiercely intense eyes, "No! Now! Want to talk about it now!"

"Sam-"

Dean is pushed back onto the bed and Sam is leaning over him, eyes glittering down and Dean feels electricity crackling in the air around them and Sam's face is close, his mouth almost touching Dean's, his breath fluttering on Dean's face.

Sam lets his eyes roam down Dean's body and then back up to his face, smiling down at him. Dean feels his arms get tugged up above his head, held firmly against the mattress and his shirt is pulled upward slowly, sensuously. One of his nipples is lovingly rubbed and Dean moans a little, dimly realizing that Sam's hands are on his waist-

Sam's hands are on his waist. So what's holding-?

Dean's eyes flick up to his wrists, nothing holding him but still he can't move and that's when he knows-

Sam's holding him there with his _mind, _touching him with his_ mind._

A flicker of fear in his belly is followed quickly by a burst of anger and he's growling at his brother, "You're using your psychic shit on me now, Sam? Let me the fuck up!"

*

Sam rocks back like Dean just slapped him, as he finally comes fully awake and understands what he just did. He gives Dean a horrified look, a tumble of words spilling out of his mouth, "Jesus Christ, Dean, I'm so sorry…I didn't know what I was doing…"

Dean is released as soon as Sam starts babbling and he moves his hands to Sam's chest, pushing against him with all his strength, shoving Sam aside. Dean's off the bed before Sam figures out what he's doing, shrugging into his jacket, staring at Sam like he has three heads.

"Where are you going?" Sam asks, terrified of the answer. His brain is still full of the drugs Lillith pumped into him and he's two steps behind, a minute too slow, freaked out about his powers and now what he just did to Dean.

He's morphed into a monster in the span of a few days and he doesn't know what the fuck to do about it but the one thing he does know, the only thing he knows is that he needs to hang onto Dean. Dean will keep him sane and stop the monster inside of him from consuming him, from taking him over.

Dean is the only thing he needs.

"Away from you." His brother snarls at him and Sam jerks away from the words, each one slicing through his gut like a dull blade as he cringes against the look on Dean's face. Repulsion and disgust take turns in Dean's eyes and Sam feels that way, too, about himself, like he's balanced on the edge of nothing and he's tipping, listing and no one's there to stop the fall.

The dull roar in his head causes a cold sweat to break out on Sam's forehead and he knows what he _should_ do, he _should_ let Dean go so that Dean will be safe, away from him, away from the evil he's becoming and so he's going to sit here and watch Dean open the door and walk away.

Yes, that's what he's going to do, sit here and watch Dean go. His insides fight and roil, punching at his ribs and belly, making him gasp with the ripping of his heart as it peels wide open and lays there, pulsing, trembling, life leaking out of it…

Dean will be safer without him. He'll be better off.

Sam bites at his lip, tears rolling unawares, unchecked down his face as Dean opens the door and gives one look back.

no...No...NO!

A lion roars mighty and loud somewhere nearby, making Sam jump before he realizes it's _him_ making that God-awful racket and he doesn't know how or when but he's got Dean by the jacket, yanking him back inside, the soft leather bunched in his tight fists and the door is slammed shut, Dean's startled face looking up into his and Sam snaps-

Just snaps-

He's got Dean shoved up against the wall, the smell of leather and Dean filling his nose and he's grabbing the back of Dean's head, wanting those fucking delicious lips, that beautiful, luscious mouth so full of promises and sweetness and he takes it because he can, because he _wants to_ and he grabs Dean's wrists, pushing his arms above his head, grinding his hips into Dean's cock and sucking down on Dean's mouth, his tongue, the swirl and flavor of those _lips-_

Dean is making small noises under him, opening his mouth, letting Sam in and Sam ravages, bites, and plunders, wanting the life, the essence of Dean, hungry for every bit, every drop of Dean that's alive and throbbing in that deep cavern. Sam can't get enough, a starving man eating his first meal and Dean doesn't fight, can't fight against the onslaught Sam is delivering to his mouth.

Dean tries to break away, to breathe maybe or to speak, Sam doesn't know which, doesn't care, truth be told and he pulls back to allow one breath before he swoops in again, dropping Dean's wrists to let his hands roam roughly over Dean, his fingers ripping at the leather jacket, tearing it off his brother's back and arms and throwing it away. Sam's hands wrench off Dean's shirt next, yanking it over his head, tossing it to one side, needing to lick the salty fear away from his brother and he releases Dean's lips to move down, tongue sliding down over the stubble on Dean's chin and lower, over his throat, Adam's apple bobbing as Sam sucks and bites the tender skin.

Sam's hands flick over Dean's nipples, tickling along his rib cage and Sam's tongue slithers across the heated flesh, Dean shivering with the cool wet path left in the wake of Sam's hot mouth. Sam captures one nipple in his mouth, thumbing the other one and Dean's body is jerking under his tongue, under his fingers, gasping as Sam's hands go to the jeans on his brother's hips, unbuttoning, unzipping and shoving them down, shorts following-

And then he's got Dean, hot and pulsing, Sam's tight fist grabbing the base of Dean's dick and Dean's head hits the wall behind him as Sam jerks the stiff cock, wrist flicking quickly and Sam's mouth is back on Dean's, sucking the rest of the life out of him while he makes Dean's hips buck and roll without conscious thought-

And Sam thinks incoherently, that's an involuntary reaction is what that is, like that even matters but he's trying not to eat his brother alive, trying not to throw Dean down and fuck him on the floor like a dog, like there's no tomorrow but that's about right because there really _is_ no tomorrow-

He breathes into Dean's mouth, a promise, a threat, "I want you-"

And Dean whimpers back at him, a mumbled "Yes" reaching his ears-

As Sam continues, "And I'm going to take you-"

And he's pulling Dean to the bed, holding his brother up so Dean doesn't trip on the pants around his ankles, pushing him onto the bed and yanking off the remnants of clothes, shucking off his own as fast as possible and he's back on Dean in a heartbeat, still hungry. Sam grabs the lube and smears it fast, pushing fingers inside Dean even as he bites at Dean's mouth, making Dean moan with pain, with pleasure as his fingers finds the sweet spot inside of Dean's ass and Dean jumps, rocking his hips down, grinding onto Sam's hand with abandon.

Sam pushes Dean's legs up onto his chest, so that his ass is wide open and helpless and Sam's dick is swollen and painful with desire, and he shoves into Dean as far, as fast as he can, before Dean's muscles clamp down on him and he has to wait, impatiently chafing, needing to _own_ this ass, _own_ this man and he pulls back before giving another quick hip snap, thrusting his cock deeper, Dean grunting, gasping as he's shoved into the headboard and pulled away again.

Sam's teeth bite down on Dean's flesh, where neck and shoulder meet and Dean cries out with pain, with heat and Sam rasps into his ear, "You're mine, Dean! Say it!"

And Dean's head thrashes on the pillow, Sam's dick burning through him, parry and thrust, going as deep as Dean's ass can allow and Sam's chewing on Dean's nipples, pulling and pinching and then his hands are on Dean's bucking hips, Dean's legs spread wide apart as Sam drives into him, into the tight, sweet ass that clings, tugging him in and holding him there in the heat, in the fire.

"Yours, all yours, Sammy…" Dean pants out.

Sam tongues and nips at Dean's chest, working back up to bite an earlobe sharply before grinding out, "Touch yourself, Dean. Pull on that sweet dick for me and let me watch you come…"

Dean groans, reaching down to fondle and caress, stroke changing to a grip-pull in a few seconds as he moves close to climax, teetering on the edge of the precipice, and Sam knows Dean's close and he increases the rhythm, pulling back and crashing on through, a low whine coming from Dean's chest as Sam pounds into him–

"Jesus, Sam, I'm gonna-" and Dean's body stiffens, his muscles twitch and his dick spasms, and he's coming, bursting at the seams, like he's never come before and it's pumping out, all over his hand, his belly, Sam's belly, hot and thick but Sam doesn't stop, keeps pushing and pulling, hips bucking into Dean's sweet hole-

And Sam's lost control, that hot tunnel and the crescendo building in his dick are the only things in his mind as he jerks forward and releases, jerks and releases and it blows wide open as, with a gasp and a shudder, he empties himself deep into Dean's ass, pumping until there's no more, a soft moan the only sound easing out of his chest now.

The sounds of their rasping, heaving breath fills the room as they rest together, huffing into each other, trembling, coming down now and Sam releases Dean's legs, pulling himself slowly out and lovingly bending down to plant a small, chaste kiss on the corner of Dean's bruised and swollen mouth. Dean moans at the loss of Sam's dick inside him and rolls over when Sam crawls up next to him and collapses, curling up around Sam like a satisfied cat, almost purring.

"Holy shit, Sam…I always knew you were holding back on me but man! When you break, you don't fool around!" he manages when he can, and Sam puts an arm around Dean's shoulders, feeling almost shy now, scared of how much he feels, pulling Dean close and kissing his forehead.

"I lost control. I'm sor-."

"Don't you dare say you're sorry! I always wanted that from you – to make you as crazy as you make me! It was awesome!"

"Did I hurt you?"

"Hell, yeah! My ass is sore as hell!" Dean looks at Sam with twinkling eyes, "Wouldn't have it any other way…"

Dean reaches down to pull up a blanket, covering them, still breathing hard. Sam is already half-asleep and Dean's going down, too but remembers and mutters, "We need to talk later…about your powers."

Sam breathes out a sad sigh, still awake enough to understand, "I know we do."

*

-The end-

*


End file.
